Oh, FEET.

"Walkin around on those, whaddya call 'em? oh, FEET!" Ah feet. Glorious, beautiful, rub-able feet. Mermaids be hatin.

I have a friend who has a friend who dated a guy who knows someones brother who's a DJ. And this DJ is dating this chick whose favorite movie is The Little Mermaid. So, being the typical "I will do anything to slay this pussy" kind of guy, he made a song using a bite from that song. Now, he's a good DJ, I've heard his stuff, but I can't imagine who in their right or wrong mind would ever want to take credit for something so heinously lame.

I mean, hey, we here at MPP are all about gettin that poonanny taken care of, but not at the expense of creating terrible music and unleashing it upon the masses. Maybe in a steel warehouse in Russia in 1992 this might have been acceptable, along with pacifiers, glow sticks, strobe lights and candy necklaces. (Oh my gawd, all I see are sweaty, tightly clad Russian men with fishnet shirts and gold chain necklaces, ewww!) But here and now, this simply will not stand. No one wants to be part of your world.

They say that the fan-to-talent ratio is highest for DJs, and this guy is helping set that curve. So do us all a favor, DJs, make like a Barisone and get your shit right. No pussy is worth putting us all through a terrible auditory hell. At no point ever should a Disney sound bite be anywhere near anything that closely resembles a track that might ever be played to the unsuspecting public. The only reference we want to hear concerning 'feet' is in reference to length - flaccid or otherwise. Off you go now, take your dingle hopper and thingamabobs and get workin on that new track. A good one this time, one that makes me make happy puddin on some feet.