Lil lil little one

So your girl, miss MPP herself, is out and a boot doin her thing. Aka, getting awesome, setting standards, lowering bars, pumping Lil weez, reppin the white hood like it was her JOBBBBBB! First thing I run into some random friend of my dads who was hot in the day. And by day I mean back when Jodeci was forever my lady. So being the generous butter bizzzle that I am I flatter this old fuckwit with some kindess and sho nuff his call the cops Imma a gonna takeyo kids chick decides to see your girl as a threat. Now, at my best I am a bee bee gun. It is ten kinds of fun watching these kinds of people getting all Lucy and Desi on this bitch. At some point in the night, and here night is 8:30pm, so your MPP is still straight like Brad Pitt, this woman says to her man in what passes as whisper voice,"Fuck you, go talk to your hot little friend, and just so you know, she has.......a mullet." Yup. Currency is short on top long on back here in Manzanita.

What else?

For fucks sake, lord jesus, send me some Smoke's, Swivnuts, Thunders, Cuts, and the well formed fighting lazers of this urff before I throw myself into the sea!

This town is strange at best and stupid at worst but I can say one thing. Every one this town can run a chain saw and for now I spose that will do. But don't get your sad little hopes up. Only one Mustang can handle this pony and you know who you are.

Dry Panties

Welcome to the Dry Panties segment of our blog here at MPP. Where reasons for dry panties are showcased and made fun of at others' expense. Like that guy in my math class who smells like military boots and swears that Boonsfarm Blue Hawaiian is the best thing ever. And because of his encouraging me to listen to such auditory abortions such as Godsmack and Creed, and not taking the HINT that I just do not want to associate with him on any level, mathematically or otherwise, I hereby be-queef upon him the very first Dry Panties Crusty Crown that I found at the bottom of my grandmothers suitcase, right next to her inflatable dildo. I expect to see him show up to class any day now wearing a jean vest that he borrowed from some guy in Man-za-needa. All hail King DoucheBubble, may your throne be usurped regularly.